Sunday, 2 October 2011

Big moves

I was watching a football drama yesterday. Now that’s pretty unusual in itself, as I don’t care much for football and I certainly wouldn’t rate a drama that’s made around the subject of it. Nonetheless, it was one of those moments when it was the programme on, so it was the programme I watched. 

And I’m glad I did. Because something in the storyline grabbed me and made me think. The hero had just been offered the job of his dreams; to join Real Madrid football club. 

But that’s where it gets interesting. Because he had a fiancée to consider. 

If he accepted, he would have to move his fiancée to Madrid. Or they would be forced to live apart indefinitely. 

But this is his dream job remember.

She had her own life in the UK; loved her job, lived near family and saw her friends all the time.

So what does he do?

Well firstly, does he make the decision for himself, for her or for them as a couple? And when do those lines blur? 

Is it right to make a decision solely for the good of the couple, if it jeopardises who you are as an individual? On the flipside, is it right to make a decision solely for yourself, if you put the other partner and the relationship at risk?

He took the job. They lived apart. 

And I stopped watching at that point. 

It’s a shame really, because I would have liked to see if the writers threw every drama their way to see how the couple fared. Or if they let the couple smoothly survive the new lifestyle, hardly noticing the distance or difference. I imagine it was the former. 

The powerful thing to take away is how you make a decision about a big move like this one. It’s unique for everyone and there’s never a ‘right’ answer. But there are a whole host of consequences that definitely need to be considered before making a choice. 

The reason this storyline struck a chord with me is because I know so many people at the moment (myself included) making decisions about big moves, just like this one. 

My partner and I are leaving the UK in December 2011 and heading out into the big, bad world. We’re venturing into the unknown, but we’re doing it together. That’s the easy part. 

Where it gets tough is, what next? Where do we settle? Shall we emigrate and stay somewhere en route? Or come back home to our familiar lives? And how do we make the choice?

I feel incredibly lucky that we’re both making this move and that we’re making our decisions together. 

But is that the right way? What would you do?

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